Marine Mangles Mugger
Category: HNN Broadcasted on 25. November 2002 - 14:10:25hrs Author HNN News Reporter Comments: 0
A Royal Hapan Marine was treated and released from a Royal medical facility today for minor cuts and bruises sustained during a short scuffle with a would-be mugger, who is currently hospitalized in critical condition.
The marine, whose name has not been released, was off-duty for the evening and was making his way back to the barracks from a local tavern last night when the would-be mugger apparently lunged out of the shadows and swung a length of heavy metal piping at the back of his head. In a statement sent to the press earlier today, the marine states that “I saw the shadows shiftin’ out of the corner of my eye and started to swing around without even thinking about it, so he just nicked me with a glancing blow to the back o’ the head. Before he could even finish the swing though, I drilled ‘im with a hard jab to the gut and then a chop to the wrist to disarm ‘im—heard the [edited] bone shatter, so I must’ve [edited] him up good. Don’t really remember exactly what else happened—I just went on instinct, like they train us. All I know is that the [edited] ended up bloody and unconscious in under ten seconds. He picked the wrong guy to mess with.”
The mugger was unavailable for comment, as he is being held under guard and is reportedly breathing through a tube, due to his shattered jaw and partially crushed lungs. Authorities say that this is an isolated incident and no cause for concern, especially if such would-be muggers continue to select their victims so unwisely.
- Jaeld Alteir
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